Ten Ways to End Communication
- Moralize, preach.
- Assume, jump to conclusions.
- Judge, label, name-call.
- Give orders, tell the person what he or she should do.
- Interrogate, cross-examine.
- Joke about the situation and discount it.
- Ridicule the person, be sarcastic.
- Change the subject.
- Withdraw, shut down.
Six Ways to Encourage Communication
- Listen with full attention.
- Comment briefly, rarely, to show you are listening (optional).
- Indicate you have an idea of what the person might be feeling (I’ll bet that made you really sad, mad, jealous, etc.).
- With children, acknowledge their fantasies (You want that toy right now).
- If you don’t have time to listen right now, set a time, soon, when you will listen.
- Recognize that when someone is upset, they often just want you to listen. If you think the other person wants your advice, wait for them to ask for it.